Thursday, April 10, 2008

Change of Plans?!

M and I went to the consult with Dr. B this afternoon. I was pleased with our chat, we talked for nearly an hour about why the mini-stim went south and what we could do in the future. He said the mini-stim gave him a lot of information about how my body responds to the medication.

We discussed the pros and cons of the different IVF protocols. We both agreed that antagonist sounds like the most fun ‘cause I’m officially classified with low ovarian reserve now. Dr. B said that with the endo and LOR, I have roughly 3% chance of conceiving on my own each month. Nice!

He gave me a pretty good rah-rah speech about how I should still be hopeful and at least I have my age on my side. He also told us that the way he sees it, we can choose to do up to 3 IVFs (ha!) then we should consider donor eggs or donor embryos. I was happy he put it on the table, I think we needed to hear that we have more options.

I also learned something that really surprised me, adopting donor embryos is way, wayyyy less expensive than doing anything else. It’s only around $1,500 an embryo compared with $15,000+ for donor eggs. Whoa, what a difference! I showed interest in that, but M’s reaction was a little more apprehensive. The biological tie is still important to him, and we’re just not there yet. It is however another thing to consider down the road.

We had originally planned to just keep moving forward. The thing is, we’re not really prepared to fork over the additional $8,000+ we need to move forward with the big IVF. Originally we thought we’d be okay with it, but M’s increasingly uncomfortable with the financial aspect. I tend to agree with M, but I’m frustrated at the prospect of waiting any longer. We’ll have to really go over all of our options before we make a proper decision.

We talked about taking a loan, but don’t think it’s a good idea at this time. We don’t really want any more debt, like good Americans, we have enough thank you. Of course if we knew the IVF would work, we’d do it without hesitation, but that would be a bitter pill to swallow if it failed. Still, it’s on the table for now.

So…that leaves us with just a few additional options. First, I can look for a job that offers health benefits with IVF included. Dr. B actually brought up the idea (one I’ve briefly pursued before) and is going to give me a list of places to consider. Have I mentioned how much I like him?

Another option is taking a long term break. I’m just not sure I'm truly up for it. It would be so much easier if we had at least one real IVF behind us so I wouldn’t have too many regrets or what-ifs. I’m not sure I’m ready to move on without that bit of closure, but like I mentioned in my last post, having my life back is awfully tempting.

Dr. B pointed out that I have 12 more years before I’m cut off from reproductive assistance. That helped put my situation into perspective, I still have some time. Obviously the odds of conceiving a biological child diminish with each passing year, but I’m still open to other options in the long run.

A lot to consider.


sara said...

Sounds like you're really thinking all of your options through which is great. Embryo donation and adoption was something I just recently discovered when I was beginning IVF. "Blessed are the Barren" on my list of blogs on my page is actually doing embryo adoption. It's a pretty cool process. But the great thing is that you do have time, although I sometimes get frustrated when people tell me that. It doesn't always make me feel better. Do you find that ever? Anyways whatever path you choose - I know you'll make the right one for you!

soapchick said...

Hi Stephanie! Good luck in working through all of this (options, $ talk) with your husband, I know how difficult it can be. Couples are often on different pages and it takes a lot of hard work, discussion, and patience to get onto the same page. I'm glad the doctor laid it all out for you, sounds like it was a great chat. I do hope you can resolve the financial question to be able to try at least one IVF with your own eggs. I wouldn't advise waiting a couple of years on that one, not that you don't already know that. If you can somehow do an IVF in the next year, then if it doesn't work, you'll have all the time in the world to get ready to do embryo adoption or donor eggs.

Stephanie said...

Thanks for the nice thoughts guys. Hope everything is going well with your pregnancies!

Barb said...

Sounds productive! :)