Monday, June 30, 2008

What Next?

I've been thinking about what M and I should do next. Until recently, I had no doubts IVF should be our next step, but lately, I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm just scared of it failing but I'm having second thoughts.

Sinking $15,000+ into something that has less than 50% chance of working out in our favor is scary. I'm just not sure that I have the stomach for it. How do so many women do it? How do so many women afford it? Good insurance I guess.

My body's refusal to get pregnant under the most optimal conditions makes it difficult for me to believe that IVF will be any different. It's not like I've even had a chemical pregnancy to reassure me that pregnancy is possible. I am completely unproven and if IVF should fail, we won't be able to afford other avenues for a while.

So I've been thinking, the relative guarantee of a child through adoption is looking pretty good. I started looking into it last night, but all of the options make my head spin. I'm so not sure what to do anymore! Why is this so hard?

3 comments:

soapchick said...

I can totally relate. We've had pretty good insurance, but we've still spent thousands of dollars and are about to spend more on DE. If it doesn't work adoption will be a long way off for us. I know how you feel.

Why don't you talk to some couples who have succesfully adopted? I know Chris from Love, Hope and Faith blog just got matched last week for a baby that could be born in as little as 2 weeks. She and her husband started the adoption process in January and in 6 months they got matched. She made the process seem very easy because she broke it off in small chunks and that way she didn't get too overwhelmed. You might want to get some recommendations on agencies, lawyers, etc. Good luck!

sara said...

Soapchick sure said everything I was thinking! I understand what you mean about the dropping 15K though, we have insurance but it doesn't cover any infertility stuff either. I hope you are able to find some helpful information about whatever path you go down. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that things get a little clearer or easier soon.

Stephanie said...

Thank you both for the nice thoughts and suggestions. I've been looking at adoption blogs to get a better idea about the process. It's hard to compare though, just like with IF, adoption is so different for everyone. :)