Today is 4dp 3dt aka day 7. It's my understanding that if implantation is to take place, it will happen about now. Are my embryos still alive? I have no idea.
I was doing well, until now. I have one week left until the beta and I don't know if I'll make it. Not that I have a choice, but the crazy thoughts are taking over. It's all I can think about, especially when I'm in between waking and sleep. Not fun.
I swing wildly from 'this couldn't possibly work, it's me after all' to 'I deserve this to work, and it will work'.
I'm at my parents house now, I just drove down with M from NY Thursday night. He went on down to FL without me and I will fly down on Monday. Roxy also went home with him too :) I know M doesn't love her, but I do.
So back to the crazy...I'm wrestling with the idea of POS to test out the HCG. I probably need to do that ASAP so I'll know what's going on should a + make an appearance, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not.
I'm thinking of ordering some tests online and having them shipped to my house in FL so I can test when I get back, but that wouldn't be until 7dp 3dt so I'll need to buy some at the drug store here.
Oh the craziness. I can't wait until I know one way or the other. I'm trying to prepare for bad news, that is the most likely outcome. Really.
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3 comments:
I so totally understand the crazy. I think if testing it out is going to make you more obsessed and unhappy, then don't. If it will make you feel less crazy, then do. :)
xo
I know Stephanie, it's got to be driving you mad, but just take it an hour at a time, a day at a time. D day will be here before you know it! Just breathe!
Thinking of you!!!! I am a pee'r so I am just sending nice calming vibes and prayers your way!!
P.S. If you have peed. My stats are...with my trips + at 4dp5dt, with Mark(surro baby 1) 6dp5dt and with Luke(surro baby 2) not until 8dp5dt. So you have LOTS and LOTS of time. ((Hugs))!! Hope you have a great flight!
Kimmy
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