Getting Back on the Horse

Okay, so I haven't kept my New Years resolution to blog frequently. I'll try to post at least once a week, that seems like a reasonable goal. :)

I guess it's mostly that my life isn't very interesting these days. I'm not sure that it ever was, but at least I had IF treatment to share. Since I haven't been to the RE since about May 2008 I haven't had much to blog about.

My job prospects aren't looking any better, the company that I was going to interview with has layed off a majority of their employees, so I'm not expecting an interview anytime soon. I've come to basically accept that I'm going to be (very) underemployed for probably the next year or so. Maybe longer if Obama goes through with the "bail out"/government expansion.

Hopefully M and I will be able to survive reasonably well on our 1 and a 1/4 salaries until things turn around. It really makes me wonder if it's irresponsible to keep trying to build a family with the state of the economy as it is. M doesn't want that to stop us, and I think he's probably right. It will eventually pass and we will be okay.

So I guess I should share how we would proceed with the IF situation, seeing as how we aren't exactly rolling in $. M finally announced what everyone in his family has been gossiping about for some time. He told his grandparents (and everyone else) that we will probably need to do IVF to have children. Gasp!

His grandparents have generously offered to spot us the obscene amount of money required for said IVF. They want more great-grandchildren, especially from their only grandson that could carry on their name. No pressure or anything.

That said, we *might* try this spring sometime. I'm still somewhat ambivilant about the whole thing. I'm slightly excited, but mostly apprehensive about what it all means. I hate that his family is now so involved. I don't know if they'll be chill about it, or expect a play by play. If it fails, I'll probably feel horribly guilty. Both for letting them down (again) in the baby making department, but also if we waste their money on an unsuccessful attempt. That would just plain suck.

I've basically taken a somewhat detatched position on this for now. I'm letting M do most of the decision making. I hate that when we fight about things, it's usually about the stupid decisions I've made and how he would have made the "right" decision (like buying a house sooner or choosing a different neighborhood, or not adopting the dog we did, etc).

So...he feels like this is the thing to do, and I don't want to hear how I made the wrong decision by not doing IVF now when we have the option. Also, he doesn't want to use the Drs. in Orlando, so again, I'm not going to fight it, I'll go to NY and see the Dr. he chooses. It's his turn to be in charge of this, so I'm going with the flow.