No Real Decision

Still no real decisions made yet. I thought for sure I’d have an answer now that I’ve repeated the FSH test. I took it on day 2 this time, so there is no reason for me to worry about its validity.

I went in on Wednesday morning, and was told to check the e-mark voicemail for my results that afternoon. I’m surprised I didn’t crash the system calling so often. I was pissed when I didn’t get my results the same day.

I decided to wait until 12pm the next day to call the office, just in case they were slow getting the results or leaving the message. I thought maybe the nurse was waiting to discuss my results with Dr. B before phoning me with some sort of decision.

Well, no call or voicemail by 12pm, so I called and left a message for Dr. B’s nurse to call me with my results -please. So I waited, and waited, and waited. At about 5pm, I finally got a call from my favorite nurse. She apologized for the mixup and gave me my results, which were just okay.

My FSH is 9.9 this month. So, technically it’s within the normal range, but barely if 10 is the cutoff. She was very optimistic, and said not to worry too much.

I discussed my concerns with her about the day the previous test was taken, and she confirmed that taking the test on day 4 would not have skewed the results that much. She couldn’t offer any explanation for why my FSH has seemingly jumped so much in a years time. Although I have a small theory.

I also asked her what she thought I would end up doing? The real deal, or the mini-IVF? She said she wasn’t sure, but she thought I might need more meds to stimulate so that I would end up with the regular old IVF.

I even brought up my concerns about finances with her. I love her, because she gets it. She understood immediately that we’re in limbo waiting for a course of action, and that we can’t plan financially without knowing.

She couldn’t offer any real solutions, but at least she gets it.

I know that we need to plan for a full IVF. It just makes more sense to go the safest route when so much money and emotional energy is involved. I’d love to be brave and take my chances with the mini-stim and prove that it can work just as well for women with high FSH. But I don’t want to take the financial hit if it fails. I also don’t want to think “what if” because we weren’t aggressive enough.

I’m waiting impatiently for another call from one of the nurses. I hate the days of waiting, I feel like I can’t get anything done. I’m so easily side tracked, wondering when the phone is going to ring, what the news is going to be. I know I should try to keep busy so the day will go by faster, but I can’t do it.

I start to worry that they’ve forgotten about me or that they didn’t get my message. The office usually starts returning phone calls in the afternoon, sometimes after the office has closed and they’ve switched the phones over. That makes me so nervous, what if they did forget me this time and I have to wait a whole month more. Gah!

I want to call right now, and make sure that they didn’t forget, take charge of the situation. But of course I don’t want to be annoying or be one of those patients that piss’s off the staff. What's a girl to do?