tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591529948659582216.post5234868824485384258..comments2023-09-06T10:02:26.143-04:00Comments on The Impatient Patient: Friendship Closure?Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00162624583693445058noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591529948659582216.post-6745308736980462692009-03-02T03:55:00.000-05:002009-03-02T03:55:00.000-05:00I remember reading about the way your former BFF d...I remember reading about the way your former BFF delivered her news back when it happened and being shocked at her insensitivity. I'm sorry she hasn't grown up.<BR/><BR/>In my going on four decades I've learned that people reflexively get defensive whenever they hear the word "you." It sounds like an accusation even when it's meant as an observation. She won't hear you if she feels you're accusing her of something and I agree that it may stir up more drama. <BR/><BR/>It's much more effective to phrase things in terms of your own experience. "I was hurt when I didn't hear from you." "I didn't know if you wanted to hear from me, so I gave you space so that you could enjoy your pregnancy to the fullest." <BR/><BR/>I think that's enough assvice for one comment so I'll stop there. <BR/>:-) <BR/><BR/>Best of luck and I hope this letter brings the closure for you.Pepperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11776234917145422506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591529948659582216.post-35262013989221165902009-03-01T15:55:00.000-05:002009-03-01T15:55:00.000-05:00Ah this makes me so sad for you. :(I think the nee...Ah this makes me so sad for you. :(<BR/><BR/>I think the need for your closure is well founded. I think your letter is really well worded, but in a way, it may open things up again. If she does respond, you could start the working through it that may or may not work, and it may be painful. If she doesn't respond, you may feel more betrayed or weird about what you wrote. Those are just things that would happen for me, so you may be different. :)<BR/><BR/>So if I were you, I'd keep those same themes but simplify it a bit and give her no ammo to hurt you or no reason for you to doubt yourself. You know what I mean? Basically, I mean don't put yourself out there for her.<BR/><BR/>But ultimately, it comes down to what makes YOU feel good to do.<BR/>xoxoxoxo and best luck with this. I'm so sorry it happens to any of us.<BR/>BBarbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16067045642285877560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591529948659582216.post-86002015985968353162009-03-01T14:16:00.000-05:002009-03-01T14:16:00.000-05:00Hi - just found your blog and briefly caught up on...Hi - just found your blog and briefly caught up on the saga (and such a saga!).<BR/><BR/>Here is my thought fully recognizing that I don't know you or her, but that never stopped me from giving assvice! I don't think that your friend is ever going to get it. No amount of letters or talks are going to help her see that she is just self-absorbed and lacking in a certain amount of empathy. <BR/><BR/>I would just give her a nice note telling her that you don't see a future to your friendship since she has made it pretty clear that you are no longer someone that she wants to have around her. Be gracious (as you have been already) and just break the tie. Maybe someday she'll figure it out and realize that she did just about everything you aren't supposed to do. But right now, I think the lesson would be lost on her. <BR/><BR/>Best of luck on your upcoming cycle!Mrs.Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03810703338888705439noreply@blogger.com